


Too Close to Heart

by Agentrogers17



Series: Remmy, Siri and their Dove [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bars and Pubs, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Insecurity, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Memories, POV Sirius Black, Post-Hogwarts, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Stress Baking, Werewolf Remus Lupin, Young James Potter, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, but deeper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agentrogers17/pseuds/Agentrogers17
Summary: Small moments with Sirius and Reader after they graduated Hogwarts and became flatmates.Is a part of the Remmy, Sirius and their Dove series but can be read alone. Just know that they are kind of best friends but a lot deeper, not in a relationship though.
Relationships: James Potter & Reader, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Reader, Sirius Black & Reader, Sirius Black/Reader
Series: Remmy, Siri and their Dove [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872535
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Too Close to Heart

I was baking some muffins, Sirius was out for an Order mission and I couldn't stop but worrying. The boy, the man now, a tall, strong man, was the closest thing to a family I ever had. My family was less violent than his, but still, they didn't really care about me or my existence. He was careful I knew he was, and he was an excellent wizard, the protection charms he put around this house were next level, even for defence against dark arts specialist like me. I knew that the current situation and his worry for all his friends and us pushed him into mastering his skills. It was 2 am and still no word from him; he was at a mission with James and Peter. I trusted James with my life, and Sirius' life but Peter. Something was wrong with that man, and I still didn't know what. I was benched as I got hurt last mission, the crucio that hit me still randomly showed its effects. And Sirius threatened Dumbledore with cursing him if he even thought of sending me to a mission before I was fully healed. The older wizard, who knew of our bond and Sirius' overdramatic ass, just rolled his eyes at him wishing me to get better. James was still making fun of him, reminding him how he ran around like a headless chicken and threatening Dumbledore. I mixed the batter by hand, trying to take my mind of darker thoughts, wishing Sirius returned sooner. Blueberry muffins his favourite, I made them extra big, he had a sweet tooth. After putting them into the oven, I started making icing.

I heard the door opening half an hour ago as I was icing the muffins, and a worn-out looking Sirius walked in with James. James gave me a soft smile, as Sirius came to me wounding his arms around my thick waist, his nose pressed to my hair, lips pressed to my forehead, he held me for a few moments, as James moved to my other side dipping his finger in one of the muffins. 

"Potter!" I said, leaving the warmth of Sirius' arms. The hazel-eyed man just laughed and pulled me into his arms in a bear hug.

"How have you been (Y/N/N)? And why are you awake in this unholy hour?"

"You know me," I said, letting him pull me under his arm, a hand resting on my shoulder, "You boys hungry?" I asked. James gave me a nod as Sirius glared at him.

"We can handle feeding ourselves," Sirius said, untying my apron and brushing remnants of flour off my chest, I could see James' eyes widening as Sirius casually touched my tits while dusting the flour. But didn't mention it, as he knew how weirdly intimate our relationship was, he didn't know the half of it. 

"I am not sleeping without making sure you boys are okay," I said, pushing him to reach the fridge, for the pasta and chicken I cooked this evening. I warmed them quickly with magic and turned to see the boys already setting up the table.

"You hungry dove?" Sirius asked, tired but still devilishly handsome.

"Not really, I will join you at the muffin stage," I promised, filling their plates, "Tea?" I asked, and James nodded softly. I went to put the kettle on as they ate in silence.

"How was it?" I asked.

"Quiet really," James answered, "we managed to stay unnoticed."

"That's good. You staying?" I asked him.

"I won't want to bother you," he said.

"I bothered you for seven years, Jamie, I think I can handle a night," I said, earning a smile from the man.

"You never bothered any of us," he said, "also Sirius is less fussy when you are around, so we kind of had a lot of benefit from you," he winked. 

"Maybe it's you who is making me fussy," Sirius said, hands finding my hips and pulling me to his lap. 

"And maybe it is (Y/N/N) who is making you so clingy?" he teased. 

"You are just jealous," Sirius said, pressing me closer to his solid frame, "you always wanted a girl best friend and the only girl who tolerated you enough to be your friend was my best friend!"

"(Y/N/N) he is being mean!" 

"That happens when he gets sleepy," I said, resting my hands on his, that were resting on my pooch. He pressed a kiss to the back of my shoulder, resting his forehead there.

"Muffins?" I asked, getting up from the man's lap, earning a whine from him and a laugh from James at that. I brought five muffins, knowing one wouldn't be enough for them, and tea. I was sitting between the two men, Tucked under Sirius's arm, James' head resting on my legs. I knew they didn't want to go to bed yet, the mission and adrenaline still in their minds hunting them, I brushed James' soft curls, as he hummed.

"You are supposed to be a stag, Potter, not a cat," I laughed as his humms turned into purrs. Sirius' lips were pressed to my neck; he was kissing me, biting me softly, making sure James didn't notice. The intimate, sexual side of the relationship was still a mystery to the others, but it was much more often for us to find ourselves in each others' arms as the times grew darker. 

"You have magical hands, darling," Potter said as I scratched his scalp, "Might steal you from this one."

"Don't you have a fiance, Potter?" Sirius asked breath brushing my tender skin, wet with his kisses. I couldn't stop the shudder went through me, awakening a fire down my belly.

"Lily loves (Y/N)," James said, "she would love an addition to our relationship," he teased knowing how easy it was to rile Sirius up when it was about me.

"Be careful, Potter," he said, "don't want you to die in your sleep. How sad it would be to find you strangled in the morning."

"Speaking of mornings," I said, "It is almost four, let's go to sleep," I said, tapping James' shoulder, "You sleep in my room, Jamie. I will bunk down with this one."

James didn't say anything, knowing it was not an uncommon occurrence for us to end up in the same bed, rather than using separate rooms. There were weeks James used my room more than I did, he even had some spare clothes in my wardrobe, in the empty places of ones I moved to Sirius'. We bid good night to each other, James giving me a soft kiss on my cheek, hugging me to his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered, "for taking care of him, for taking care of all of us."

"Don't be silly, Jamie," I said, "you all did more than taking care of me for years, you kept me sane and alive. We are way past a point that we need thank you from each other. We are family."

***

The moment we closed the door, Sirius placed a locking and silencing charm, pressing me to the door with his hips, arms caging me between it and his body. His lips found mine in a hungry kiss, which I eagerly returned, my hands travelling up his chest and neck, soft black curls tickling my fingers. 

"I need you," he whispered, tugging down my sweatpants, hands grabbing my ass in his large hands, "I need you so much, (Y/N). Merlin, you are so beautiful," he moaned, pulling up my t-shirt, well actually his t-shirt. I was left in black lace boyshorts and a black bralette. Sirius' hands found my sides, hands squeezing my rolls and love handles, he always loved kneading my flesh, which I never understood. I never understood how he found my round and imperfect form attractive, but the hardness growing against my belly told me it was not the time to search for reasons or explanation. With one swift move, I was turned to the bed and pushed into the bed as Sirius took off his clothes. If anyone thought Sirius was hot when he was a young boy, they should seen him now, as a grown man. He might not be the tallest or the largest man when it came to build, but he was gorgeous. Broad shoulders, strong arms, shoulders and chest with muscles stretching his pale skin. A strong core with a slim waist. I looked at his face, his eyes focused on my form, jet black curls messy from my hands, sharp grey eyes dark with lust. He helped me off my lingerie.

"I want to kiss you all over," he whispered to my lips, "I want to eat you out, give you all the pleasure, but I need to be inside you, I need to lose myself in you. Please baby girl, let me have you," he whispered, his boner poking my belly, his hands tubbing my tits, cupping them pushing them up.

"Yes, whatever you need Siri. Do whatever you want to me."

"On your knees," he ordered, I kneeled in front of him on the bed, he stood right behind me, fingers rubbing my entrance from behind, I was already wet for him, I was dripping wet. He slowly entered me, an arm wrapped around my middle hand, grabbing my tit, other arm around my belly, fingers dipping into my folds, finding my clit. It was rough, fast and passionate. Lips kissing, sucking, biting any spot he could find, my shoulder, collarbone, neck, jaw, lips. I was moaning his name, his hips and fingers merciless, making my heart beat faster, the way his hips and balls slapped my arse, the sharp noise mixed with the sloppy noise of my juices. It was too much, I came on his dick, shaking, but he didn't stop fucking me. He kept fucking me, even when I almost blacked out of pleasure, he just moved faster. I was having my second orgasm when he came inside me. We both fell into the bed, his dick still inside me, softer now, spooning me from behind. The kisses he pressed on my skin were softer, he kissed and licked the spots he bit too hard, bruised with his sucking. 

"I love you so much," he whispered, "I love your body so much."

"Feeling better?" I asked, still out of breath.

"When do I don't with you?" he whispered, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Not more than I liked," I said.

"You are wonderful, you know. You put up with all my shit, stay with me always, love me," he mumbled. 

"You are not so bad yourself Siri," I said, pulling his hand up to kiss his palm softly, "You are my family; you are my everything."

He pulled out of me softly, making me moan at loss, I felt his cum dripping from me and heard Sirius' moan at sight, "Bloody hell (Y/N)," he murmured, "you have no right to be this attractive," he said, wiping my tender flesh with a warm cloth. A moments later, I was laying against his bare chest; he had his boxers on, while I was dressed in one of his boy-beater. I was half asleep, as his warm hand rubbed the curve of my back. He dropped one last kiss to my hair, before falling asleep, whispering, "I love you."

It wasn't uncommon for us to say love yous to each other, more often now that there was a war. But I couldn't feel like I was in the safest place on earth as I was in Sirius' arms, even though we both had multiple targets on our heads and the world around us was in flames. 

***

(Sirius' POV)

It has been a while since we all had some free time, all of us at once, well almost all of us. We were to meet in a new Muggle pub with James, Remus and Lily. I was watching (Y/N) get ready, I already was in my black jeans, shirt and a leather jacket. She was walking around in her underwear, a sight that both warmed my chest as she was the cutest, the most beautiful thing with her round hips, soft tummy and thick thigs, but also warm in other places as all those things made me want to bend her over the closest thing and have my way with her. High rise burgundy satin knickers were adorning her bum, making it look even rounder and softer. Her normally relaxed boobs pushed up with a full cup bra, lacy in the back and half of the cups. I preferred her without anything on but also couldn't deny the light the texture and colour brought to her soft skin. I observed her voluptuous body as it moved around me. She was the most feminine woman I have ever seen, the most real feminine woman. It has been some time since I have seen any other woman naked other than her, and didn't plan or had an interest in seeing any other than her any time soon but compared with my experience she was the vixen. Soft round curves, bumps and rolls, stretch marks painting her skin. I knew she hated it; she hated how her tits hung lower than most, how her stomach was sticking out, how her legs weren't smooth without cellulite. But I adored her. I also knew she was too deep in her self hate to notice that it was only natural for tits to be lower with their size, her stomach not being flat was the bonus of having the curves that drove men mad when she passed by them, and every woman had cellulite she just was too focused on her own. All the imperfections she thought she had, and that made her unattractive in her mind, was the natural outcome of being human. 

"Wear the pale green dress," I said, watching her watch her wardrobe.

"The wrap one? With puff sleeves?" she asked, and I nodded. It was a pretty dress, a midi dress with wrap front and puff sleeves, sweetheart neck that teased me with the tops of her tits but enough to cover them from pricks ending an inch below her knees. She looked classy and gorgeous in it, I loved when she dolled up, I knew it made her feel good, but I hated when some arsehole would make moves trying to take her home insulting her about her weight and body when she refused the block, not being able to take a no. I zipped the back of the dress, dropping a kiss to her head. Her butt was sticking from the straight skirt of the dress, and I couldn't help myself to slap it. She giggled at my antics, Merlin if she knew how deep my heart ached for her. She let her hair loose, slipping into high heels, making that bum even rounder and perkier. 

"Ready?" I asked as she capped the burnt rose lipstick and looked at me with a sweet smile. We apparated a few shops from the pub, and I offered her my arm as we walked to the pub. It was a quiet pub with a pleasant atmosphere, James, Lily and Remus already sitting at the table on the corner. 

"(Y/N)!" Lily exclaimed as she saw us entre and walk to them, she stood up to embrace her, "Look at how pretty you look."

"Says you!" she said, hugging the redhead. After everyone greeted everyone, she slid next to Remus as I moved on her other side. After all these years and pain the man put her through her gaze still softened whenever she laid eyes on him, she still moved closer to him in the room, she always found a way to make him feel better when he was stressed.

"Hi Remmy," she whispered. The tall man gave her a soft smile and took the hand she rested on his forearm, planting a kiss to her knuckles. She giggled softly, a soft blush gracing her full cheeks. I was used to this; I was used to her melt whenever Remus gave her any attention. I didn't feel jealous anymore, I felt hurt, not because I felt the same towards her, and she was too blind to see it, but because Remus was breaking her heart constantly, without even being aware. She deserved so much, she deserved the world, but all she had was a man who never even acknowledged her unconditional law towards him and me, her best friend, who was in love with her, but she didn't know. All three of us were idiots, that was clear.

***

A man was eyeing her for the last 20 minutes; he was eyeing her tits, as she was leaning in to talk with James who sat in front of her and her tits were pushed upwards with her arms. And that arse was ogling her. I could feel my fists growing stiffer every minute; she must have felt the tension emanating from me, as I felt her soft touch on my chest.

"Siri?" she asked, doe eyes looking at me, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just a bloke," I said, pulling her under my arm, she was hidden with my body, James realising something was wrong turned to face the block, and after seeing what got me riled up, he laughed at me, after he sent a glare at the man. 

"You really need to chill," he said.

"She's not a piece of meat. Be glad I didn't scratch his eyes out," I said kissing (Y/N)s head, as she slapped my chest, just next to the spot she was resting her head on.

"Are you drunk? You are not this fussy usually," she said.

"With two beers?" I said, pinching her hip.

"You are getting old Black; we don't know your new tolerance level."

"We are the same fucking age," I said pushing her off my chest, playfully, a bit too much force maybe, but Remus caught her and propped her against his side, arm around her waist loosely. He sent me a glare, the one he often sent when I got rough with her. Merlin, if he knew how rough I got with her at nights. 

"You are a year older," she said, laughing.

"Fuck you (Y/L/N)," I said playfully, knowing only she got the real meaning behind those words. 

"Is it your nap time Pads?" Lily asked, "you really are getting fussy."

***

Remus was staying over it was after the full moon, he was worn out so was I, Lily came to get James and Peter rarely came to visit us, something about him was making (Y/N) uncomfortable, and the way he looked at her and talked about her made me mad, so Peter and I weren't seeing each other where (Y/N) was to protect her feelings and Peter from my fists. I loved the guy like a brother but, (Y/N) was the one I could die for. 

I could see (Y/N)s worry in her every movement. I knew she didn't sleep last night as we were outside, with Moony. There were fresh brownies, Remus' favourite and blueberry muffins, my favourite, she even baked Earl Grey sticky cake James' favourite and gave the container full of it to the men when he dropped us. James gave her a tired smile and a soft kiss on the cheek after a long hug. I hated the worry lines on her pretty face, the dark circles under her doe eyes. She was bandaging Remus as he sat in front of her torn shirt on the floor. It was one of those full moons where he trashed himself but didn't hurt us at all. (Y/N) caressed his scarred arm as Remus watched her with hooded eyes. Even though Remus never answered to her affections, Moony craved her. His wolf loved the girl and wanted her close. I knew Moony still was affecting most of his decisions right now, as his hand rested on her waist as she leaned into him.

"Hungry Moons?" she asked, Merlin her innocence was going to kill me. He nodded his gaze, not leaving her plump figure. She didn't have a bra on, just a camisole inside my t-shirt. Her tits soft and loose, fuck I wanted to cup them squeeze them, feel them spill from my fingers. It was getting worse, my addiction to her, the moment something bothered me, the moment I was stressed I wanted, no. I needed her under me plunging into her, squeezing her soft flesh, kissing the life out of her. I knew Remus also was watching her body, the way her tits rested against her upper stomach, that shorts barely covered her ass. After we ate and she made Remus drink extra strong pain potions she pulled him to her own room, whenever one of the boys or Lily stayed with us, they would use her room as she stayed with me. 

"Stay," Remus whispered, and a fear gripped me, fear of losing her to my best friend, fear of not having her in my arms again. 

"You sure Remmy?" she asked, excitement clear in her tired voice.

"I need you to stay," Remus said, holding onto her. I was about to leave when she caught my wrist and said,

"Come on, Siri," as she curled into Remus' chest as I curled behind her. My heart was soaring; she didn't abandon me. She didn't abandon me! She didn't choose Remus over me! I breathed her scent in, happier than ever. She didn't leave me for Remus. 

***

The morning, well rather afternoon when we woke up, was weirdly serene. She still was asleep, between Remus and me. Remus was awake, watching her face, she still was facing him, a hand resting in the middle of his chest. My arm around her middle as I spooned her, her fingers intervened with mine. 

"She looks like an angel," Remus said, noticing how I was awake.

"She does," I said, "How are you?"

"Better, Moony is calmer as she was here. And the bed smells like her; he is tranquil."

"He loves her, huh?" I asked, trying to make him admit his own emotions. Fuck my emotions, fuck my pain, I needed her to be happy. And if it was with Moony, so what, the guy was my best friend. She still would be in my life; I still would be able to protect her.

"He is drawn to her; I don't know why. Her presence calms him, lessens her anger."

"Maybe it has to do with your emotions towards her?" I hoped.

"She is not my only friend, Siri. But she is the only one who makes him feel like that. Maybe it is because she is female, and the closest female friend I had since I was 11, she also is vulnerable; you know that. She is strong, a magnificent witch but her head her soul is vulnerable. Maybe that's what pulls Moony so close to her, the need to protect her, to take care of her. Just like you do."

"You are a fool and are in denial," I scoffed.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you think!
> 
> Requests are welcomed.


End file.
